Thinking Together

Taking a break from all the bad news I was inspired by a visit from my son to write about my kids instead of all the crazy stuff out there. It was a wonderful 5 days. Fred came here from Madison Wisconsin to help his Dad with a bunch of household chores, repairs, additions etc. He and I have had a tradition of doing “projects.” Often as a bored kid he would say, “Dad don’t you have a project?” Back then before cars, and most everything in our lives were run by microprocessors, you could basically do your own servicing. Fred and I could change spark plugs, distributor points, tune the carburetor, change the oil filters etc. etc. Of course you can’t do that anymore unless you have a computer programed to analyze your engine. That’s how we moved into the realm of house repairs.

First project this time around was a motion light over the garage. This was a ladder job from which I have been barred. A few years ago I fell off a ladder. Luckily it was on a lawn so I came away bruised but not seriously hurt. That ended my ladder career. After installing another motion light Fred made the observation, “at night your house lights up like a penitentiary.” Then came sash replacement on some of our old double hung windows. Because we live on the water the salt air is particularly hard on the house.

What’s the fun of working together? I have been wondering about that. As we tackle projects there is a lot of thinking that goes into, the how to. I have always got a kick out of thinking together with my kids. It’s a process in which you both see a problem. Then begins a conversation about how to solve it. Doesn’t matter if its how to get a new lamp-cord through an old lamp. Or how to re-rope a busted venetian blind or clear a stopped up sink. With my daughter it was how do you play an old Appalachian tune on the guitar.What we ended up doing is thinking together. What is that? Okay one of you spots the problem. Then each begin to offer solutions. It is in that problem solving exercise that we get real insights into how the other thinks. Fred grew up in the age of digital. I grew up in the age of the mechanical and therein lies a difference.

Now as a nonagenarian thinking with my son and daughter takes on the character of a new learning experience. Their life experience has given them a myriad of different ways of thinking that come as real surprises. My daughter Elizabeth has spent most of her adult life in foreign countries as part of the International Volunteer Service. That’s a teaching organization. She has probably learned as much from her students than what she had to teach them. She brings an entirely different perspective of how we might deal with our everyday lives. Elizabeth has also been a folk and jazz singer most of her adult life. She has always opened new doors for me to sing myself through a whole world of different music.

What I am talking about in this age of electronic communication might seem quaint. I do believe that this kind of face to face eyeball to eyeball relating results in a deep and abiding respect for the other. It is also a way of helping each other in the process of learning how we can successfully live together. It is precisely because of the absolute presents of all this electronic communicating that I have become such a true believer in some kind of direct interaction between parents and children.

With the ever increasing presence of Twitter, Tweeter, Facebook and what have you I fear we will lose the lasting value of doing real life things together. Thank you Liz and Fred. And my Granddaughter Allie who put me in her High School Yearbook quoting her Grandpa’s “Goodbye and Good Luck.” I love all these kids as they constantly add new dimensions to my old life. I just worry a lot about what kind of a Planet we are going to leave them? More about that some other time. (I don’t want to give up this good feeling I have now.)