Thoughts on Turning 92

There is nothing like spending one’s birthday eve with my dear wife and Shakespeare. Last night we watched Jude Law as Hamlet. I have never quiet understood my attraction to Shakespeare. I have a vague memory of going with my Papa to see Hamlet as a very young child. In the haze of my childhood memories Papa repeatedly would tell me that it was very important to understand what Shakespeare was telling us through his plays. I have been in love with Hamlet ever since. In some weird way I have often thought I was caught in the same kinds of issues that bedeviled Hamlet. No, they were not about my murdered father. They might be about my mother, who at times of great grief, I thought was “murdered” by a back alley abortionist.

I was very young when my mother disappeared. It was in my late teens that I thought about finding that murderer and killing him. I even went to the extent of checking the hospital records where she died to see if there was any identification of the perpetrator. Of course there was none. But what if there was? What then?

As a responsible leader in the Labor Movement of the 40ies and 50ies, there were so many times when I was confronted with decisions that could effect the lives of hundreds of people. So, “what to do” would occur again and again. No, they are not that ultimate question that Hamlet asks, “To be or not to be?” But there’s his genius, presenting us with the ultimate question he asks us to think about our “little lives” in terms of this ultimate question. He goes on to ask us “who would fardels (burdens) bear, to grunt and sweat under a weary life.” He is suggesting we put up with many of the horrors that we now see, in our lives or on the evening news, because we have real trouble finding ways to deal with them. That’s why I love Shakespeare, because he is always challenging me to rethink everything in my everyday routines. Why am I here and what meaningful thing am I doing with the little bit of life that I have left?

Getting back to being 92. Yes it is wonderful to have retained enough of my senses so that I can delight in my grandchildren and great-grandchild who is just a bunch of pictures sent by computer from LA. Luckily I will see him in person next week. Then there’s the magical world of music from Handel through Brahms to Hank Williams. The latter I can still mange on my guitar. I have recently been rediscovering the beauty of religious music. No, I am not going to turn to the Church for last rites before I go. I find in the music a very soothing balm that seems to sit in the melodies. Somehow that’s reassuring. Why, I don’t know. Then there's the wonders of television, where we pretty much watch movies, especially old ones. I am blessed with wonderful friends. Sometimes we manage to get together for conversation. I believe the latter is dying out, but I am fortunate in friends who like me and love to sit around and schmooze. My dear wife, who might be an introvert from Minn., loves to schmooze with me, especially about the theatre.

The down side of 92 is experiencing the loss of so many of my old friends. Recently I said goodbye to the last friend who worked with me at Mobilization For Youth back in the sixties. It brings up a mixed feeling of being just plain lucky when it came to the distribution of the gene pool; and a gnawing feeling that I may be cheating someone else out of their time here on this good earth.

This brings me to my greatest concern. It has to do with how we are using up the planet. Our great industrial revolution created enormous wealth unheard of, unknown at any time in history on this earth. Having been a very full participant in that exploitation of our natural resources, I have a very deep appreciation for the gifts taken. A list of all the various automobiles I have owned in my long life would be a good measure of my benefits from the industrial revolution. Now we are coming upon the time when the “piper must be paid.” That makes me sad for what the grandchildren will be dealing with. Oh I know there are those who say, “don’t worry, technology will figure it out.” Yes and no. Our roof is covered with solar panels that have pretty much made us “power neutral.” Thats fine. But what about the disappearance of the codfish that have fed most of the western civilization since its founding? That’s just the tips of the icebergs that are melting and will substantially raise the sea levels, leaving millions world-wide homeless and landless.

So there you have my thoughts on my 92nd. And for those of you have asked what N.H.W.Y. mean as part of my sign-off: Thanks Kate “Never Happen Without You.”