What's A Man To Do?

“Most U.S. Births Outside Wedlock Before Age 30”

Lead story NY Times Feb.18th 2012

You want to talk “Social Change” with far reaching implications. First let me go back to Feb. 2010 I wrote a blog called, “Women Majority in Workforce.” In that piece I sighted an article I had written for the Harvard Business Review back in 1977 called “Three Men Two Women On a Raft.” From My experience on an Outward Bound trip down the Rogue river I concluded that men are not going to rollover and let women take their positions of power. With the shift in the workforce the issue of leadership power will also change. As a professional women my wife Kate was an early success in the corporate world. She often suggested, “what women need to be successful in position of leadership is a “critical mass.” Well, Kate your about to get it.

Talk “social change.” How about this? “Before age 30 MOST U.S. BIRTHS OUTSIDE of WEDLOCK.” NY Times Feb. 18th. We are not talking Black women on welfare. It’s a majority of white unmarried women. It reminds me of the the claims early in the Feminist Movement that “we don’t really need men. As far as procreation is concerned there’s always the “sperm bank.” Admitted that was extreme. Yet what is going on now could go there.

The male reaction to being supported by their professional wife is causing him to become far more cosmetically conscious. First Page NY Times Feb. 20th 2012. “Men Step out of Recession, Bag on Hip, Bracelet on Wrist.” Heah, the bag on hip stuff is just a “Pocketbook.” There is now a whole new line of men's beauty products including perfume. This week I received a new catalog of men's accessories. “This business has grown by 14 percent in last half of 2011.” NY Times front page Feb.20th.How about the new trend of fancy beards for the Peacocks?

Oh, you don’t know what’s going on here? Three major forces converging. 1.The loss of manufacturing jobs that gave the male the title “Breadwinner.” That was me from the 30s through the 60s. It was part of the post war boom that created the hugely successful middle class. The male worked on the shop floor brought home the bacon. Mama, the kids, the dog and the cat were all living “Happily Ever After.” Those Midwestern Manufacturing Towns are now rusting away into oblivion land.

2. As factories disappeared from Pittsburgh service industries took their place. The finance services, retail sales, education, medical services constitute a majority of the workforce. These are workplaces that women dominate. 3. I85 women now graduate from college to every 100 men. It’s the college education that is now the best predictor of success in the job market. Men are looking for ways to adjust to their new reality. Some are switching roles and staying home trying to play housewife. Others are spending their days in the bar with buddies commiserating, getting drunk or depressed sometimes both.

What society needs to do is help men get into non-traditional male jobs like nursing, hairdresser, medical technician, maybe even midwife. Wow and I remember when I was coaching women in non traditional jobs like electrician, coal miners, carpenters. All this in my very own lifetime. No wonder I sometimes ache all over.

PS. We went to see, "Venus In Furs" a very popular Broadway smash hit. It’s a two person piece and the women Nina Arianda is great at hamming it up. Okay, so what’s this playlit about? It’s mostly about a man who can’t seem to make up his mind what he wants from a women. The women character to a lessor extent suffers the same quandary. How does this back and forth about how they should behave toward the other end? He, poor soul is tied to a post pleading for Aphrodite. She of course is the Goddess of seduction. Not a bad reflection of the present dilemma of us men.