Valentines Day

In the mid sixties I was working for the City of New York as Deputy Manpower Commissioner. My primary responsibility was youth employment and job training. Since these were the days of anger and rage, a major part of my job was, as John Lindsey said, was to “keep the kids from burning down the town.” To say this was an assignment full of “perfect storms” would be a gross understatement. At times my office at 50 Church Street seemed to be like the cuckoo ward at Bellevue. In order to escape the craziness I would periodically sneak out at lunch time and walk over to Trinity Church for a period of quiet thought.

Trinity Church dates back to when the Dutch ruled Manhattan. Sitting oh so quietly in the empty chapel I would find myself staring at the naked man up there on the cross and wondering, what made him this most beloved, most revered person in our history? Each time I made it to Trinity, there he was staring back at me, forcing me back to the same question. As I kept coming back, it seemed I was increasingly looking for an answer to my question, why him?

One day after a bad weekend of rioting in the Bedford Stuyvesent section of Brooklyn, I was back at Trinity. It was a rainy Monday. As I sat there for an extra long period of time, a light bulb went on! That man up there on the cross had made two phenomenal human achievements--how to love unconditionally and how to forgive. I realized then and there how difficult it was to love. To be able to truly love, we must be able to get ourselves and our needs out of the way so as to give yourself over to others. I thought, “well thats a pretty simple idea,” until I tried to put it into practice. Oh, it’s so easy to say “I love you,” but it is extremely difficult to live it. What I learned that day is that the challenge of living “unconditional love” is one tough, if not impossible, assignment. Think about it. No, better yet, try practicing it.

To the second lesson learned, forgiveness. In a way it is the proof for the first lesson. For if we are able to love unconditionally then forgiveness follows. It is in the loving that we can find the ability to forgive. Unconditional love by definition suggests that we are able to look past the sins of human beings (including ourselves) and find their humanness. What a powerful message that is. Just try to imagine what the world would look like if we could just begin to practice that philosophy. If this was easy to achieve Jesus would not have become the revered icon of Christianity. Ask yourself, is there someone I should love and someone else to forgive? Have a happy Valentines Day.

PS: Next week I promise to be back to our present mess in which there is no love and less forgiveness.

Thanks Kate N.H.W.Y.